RAINBOW FAMILY GATHERINGS: Unofficial Community for Rainbow Family
Before I ever went to my first (and the last) rainbow gathering,
I wasn't a plesant person. Sure, I had friends, but those who weren't I showed very little, if not that then none, respect.
The way I inturpeted the energy from rainbow gathering, was that there is good, and even great in people. Even if you don't know them. That everyone deserves a chance.
Not to blame my asshole-ness on anything, but I do think that living in the Northern-East side of the US, had a little to do with my harsh, defensive attitude. (Been to New York? Then you know what I'm talking about)
But I tended to see the worst in people, and stood off. And the only emotions I let public, people I didn't know, was anger and aggressiveness.
I never thought that I had another, nicer, side to me- considering I traded my care-free innocence for a thirst for dominance and feared respect, by the 7th grade.
Honestly, when i moved from North Carolina to Connecticut, BIG culture change...I was bullied. I had to put up with so much crap, I just thought that those kids hated me! They were so mean, had my fare share of tears from it. Then I moved to Ohio, this time, it was going to be different...I refused to be the same pathetic person I was in CT.
So after not taking anyones shit, I started giving people shit. Pushing the envolope. I eventually got a great thrill, an adrenaline rush, from physical fights. The way I thought of the whole ordeal,...either bully, or get bullied. All guys were selfish assholes where I lived, and girls were pushy, two faced, bitches that for some reason cared so much about their reputation at school.....
acutally, that phrase made me a hypocrite, I wanted the reputaion of, 'the girl not to fuck with'.
Anyways, my point being...since moving from NC to CT when i was 8, I was treated with nothing but disrespect. So I only saw the worst qualities in random people that I barely knew. Lost faith in people, if you will. I guess I just forgot what it was like to be around, not just nice and respectable people, but people that ACTUALLY give a shit if your happy or sad. How they can help. And just so giving rather then being selfish.
I normally say that rainbow gathering was a life changing expirence for me, but it wasn't only that. It was a flashback...it reminded me of the kindness I once knew. But obviously rainbow gathering was the same in that sence but WAY different. SO much fun. Such a free, loving, some-what rebelious, creative, intilectual, and spiritual gathering.
I went back home to Ohio after the festival as a different person. I was more giving, forgiving, appreciative, and aware of others (mainly my family's) emotions and worries.
(Also with a little disturbing 'naked people' memories, lol.)
(GOOD ONES TOO! haha)
Just wanted to spill this out on a blog, weather anyone reads it or not, doesn't bother me too much. Could be a diary entry even, but if anyone is reading this, and has not been to rainbow...I'd like to say this to you..........................
It's not just another festival. I never expected for me to have some kind of enlightenment or epiphany while being there.
I just wanted to party with some crazy hippies! haha.
You do, but it's so much more then that.
Have a good one family.
Your account echoes my own experience with Rainbow. I've never been to the East Coast, but I've had countless issues with anger and oftentimes lost faith in humanity. Even after finding Rainbow, I've ended up straying, BUT~~ I always manage to find my way Home again~~cuz you never lose your real Family as long as your heart, mind, and spirit are open<3
Never stop evolving;-)
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