Well,

Before I ever went to my first (and the last) rainbow gathering,

I wasn't a plesant person. Sure, I had friends, but those who weren't I showed very little, if not that then none, respect.

The way I inturpeted the energy from rainbow gathering, was that there is good, and even great in people. Even if you don't know them. That everyone deserves a chance.

Not to blame my asshole-ness on anything, but I do think that living in the Northern-East side of the US, had a little to do with my harsh, defensive attitude. (Been to New York? Then you know what I'm talking about)

But I tended to see the worst in people, and stood off. And the only emotions I let public, people I didn't know, was anger and aggressiveness.

I never thought that I had another, nicer, side to me- considering I traded my care-free innocence for a thirst for dominance and  feared respect, by the 7th grade.

Honestly, when i moved from North Carolina to Connecticut, BIG culture change...I was bullied. I had to put up with so much crap, I just thought that those kids hated me!  They were so mean, had my fare share of tears from it.   Then I moved to Ohio, this time, it was going to be different...I refused to be the same pathetic person I was in CT.

So after not taking anyones shit, I started giving people shit. Pushing the envolope. I eventually got a great thrill, an adrenaline rush, from physical fights. The way I thought of the whole ordeal,...either bully, or get bullied. All guys were selfish assholes where I lived, and girls were pushy, two faced, bitches that for some reason cared so much about their reputation at school.....

....

....

acutally, that phrase made me a hypocrite, I wanted the reputaion of, 'the girl not to fuck with'.

Anyways, my point being...since moving from NC to CT when i was 8, I was treated with nothing but disrespect. So I only saw the worst qualities in random people that I barely knew. Lost faith in people, if you will. I guess I just forgot what it was like to be around, not just nice and respectable people, but people that ACTUALLY give a shit if your happy or sad. How they can help. And just so giving rather then being selfish.

I normally say that rainbow gathering was a life changing expirence for me, but it wasn't only that. It was a flashback...it reminded me of the kindness I once knew.     But obviously rainbow gathering was the same in that sence but WAY different. SO much fun. Such a free, loving, some-what rebelious, creative, intilectual, and spiritual gathering.

I went back home to Ohio after the festival as a different person. I was more giving, forgiving, appreciative, and aware of others (mainly my family's) emotions and worries.

(Also with a little disturbing 'naked people' memories, lol.)

(GOOD ONES TOO! haha)

Just wanted to spill this out on a blog, weather anyone reads it or not, doesn't bother me too much. Could be a diary entry even, but if anyone is reading this, and has not been to rainbow...I'd like to say this to you..........................

It's not just another festival. I never expected for me to have some kind of enlightenment or epiphany while being there.

I just wanted to party with some crazy hippies! haha.

You do, but it's so much more then that.

:)

Have a good one family.