There are many times in our lives that we consider life and death, and the mysteries they hold, but never more than when you know your losing a loved one. That is what I face now, as I prepare to take my mother, to see her mother, before she passes away. My grandmother has cancer, pancreatic cancer to be exact, and as old as she is, she’s opted out of chemo, so that she might enjoy the last of her life. Only knowing for a week now, it still seems surreal to me, and I know that I may not be prepared for what we will see once we get there. Hurricane Katrina helped to prepare me for tragedy, but it was other people’s tragedy, which is no less important, but in a way, it’s farther away. Meaning, that as deep as what we saw affected me, it was a loss for others that I felt, no personal memories were attached to what I felt. Now with the loss of a family member that holds so many of my childhood memories, I face a loss so profound, that I’ve yet to find words to express it, but tied into that loss is a celebration, for a long colorful life lived. For it’s not just any grandmother that I’m losing, but the hippest grandmother I’ve ever met, at 72 She was in a college bar kicking up her heels to my cousins funk/rockabilly band dancing as hard as the next person. How many people will have a memory like that, I will, and I celebrate it. In jr. high, she taught me the Charleston and got me a flapper costume, all for a report in school, which my teacher said was the most creative report he’d ever seen, who holds that memory, I do, and I celebrate that. When I was a child experiencing my first snowy winter out of California, and got frostbitten, it was she who cut my gloves and boots off, helping me feel less scared, that memory is mine to and I celebrate it. The list is endless, or so it seems, these memories of mine, and I celebrate them, as I celebrate my Grandmother. I pray for the strength to show her in a worthy manor, just how much I celebrate her life, her love, and her memory. Thank You Grandmother, for my mothers’ life, and for mine. Thank you for all that you have been, and all you will be, I celebrate you!

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Comment by Melanie Nowak on March 13, 2010 at 7:04am
Last Nov. I lost my favorite uncle to cancer.. he was a musican, artist all around awesome man,, I looked up to him and i miss him alot. Now Im perparing to lose an "adopted" uncle who is in the late stages of cancer... I share your grief and i hold you, your mother, and your grandmother in my heart <3
Comment by guitar Mikal on February 25, 2010 at 9:25am
You may discover her visiting you many times in the years to come. There are many ways, like through a song, or hearing a stranger say something that plucks that certain string. It could be as simple as the blink of a crystal hanging in your window, but she will be there, and when you see her, you may just smile, or you may weep, but you will always be glad because everytime you see her she will be smiling.

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