The description said people with questions should join, so any one up for a few questions about polyamory.

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Does anyone find a poly lifestyle easy, other than those in the D/s lifestyle? I don't! Poly seems to take so much more energy and time, and for some the extra effort may not be worth it. I find that it is well worth it...

So have you questions or answers from your point of view?

UncleBill

Questions, how is your arrangement set up?

Stevey and I are hand fasted. We tend to live in an extended family
that is platonic in part and also varying degrees of intimate: Lardog is the president of my MC and we live in his house. He has a 25 year old for a girlfriend who is BDSM, and we also have a girl (vena) that is a caregiver for Stevey and plays with me from time to time. We tend to blend our BDSM life and our vanilla life as much as possible...


I could write forever on the dynamics of our own personal relations but feel like that would make this group or post about us and it's not. Does your query come from an interest in I poly or as a comparison to your own experience?

My interests comes from trying to understand how a poly lifestyle isn't emotionally damaging to one or all people involved. Please believe I'm not judging what you and yours do. I'm curious because of my beliefs. What man hasn't had a harem fantasy or two. But in trying to understand what makes me tic I contemplated the logistics of a poly relationship. I believe we are all the same, some souls are more proficient in areas than other. But at the core of all of us, we want to be happy, safe, loved. For me the specialness and individuality is in  the love of another, more specifically a wife, a soul mate, a partner. Whatever you want to call it, one being that is above all others in your world. The one you would sacrifice everything for to see smile. I also believe that the Source to all existence is pure unconditional love. And that the soul to soul union is where we touch divinity, where we find our specialness. Because we are, for that soul we connect with, the single most important thing in this plane of existence. Maybe I could except the loss of that feeling for myself, but for my soul mate  I'd rather die than let her feel anything less than being the reason for my existence. And if she was my soul mate she wouldn't want me to feel like what I give her could be found in another's arms. Basically my real question, and if I overstep I apologize, is  how do you do it. How can you stand by while another man caresses your wife. Or how can she kiss you and smile while she tastes another woman on your lips. No matter how much openness and trust you have how does it not eat away at you slowly. I'm not judging you, to tell you I'm right would by default tell you you're wrong. If I had all the answers I'd of transcended instead of asking you questions. I've contemplated poly to great lengths, what man wouldn't want to spread his love around, it’s a desire embedded deep within the reptilian brain. But no matter how slight to grievously it hurt the woman I love I couldn't do it to her. And if she loved me she'd feel the same.

Maybe neither you or your wife are hurt by it. Or need to be the center of some ones universe. But the thought of the painful roads you've both been on that would lead to a mindset  that let you plug and play the sacred union between two beings makes my everything weep.

No matter how you live your life brother I love, respect and accept you and yours. If  I agree with it or not, understanding each other is part of cohabitation. Namaste.     

I think by your reply that you might be confusing poly with swinging or open-marriage. I totally agree with most, if not all that you had to say, with the exception of the monogamous aspect of one single partner. Stevey and I are not swingers. She and I accept one other intimate partner in our marriage and we both have different fulfilling relations with that person. Ours is a committed triad marriage, and while we are not jealous of each other, we are known to be SERIOUSLY jealous of others trying to slip in the back door, so to speak. We fulfill different roles and purposes for each other...
Of course, it does help that are poly came from a bdsm background where multiple partners are common.....

No I meant it in a poly, triad manner. Are you married to two woman or is your wife married to two men. Pole the group and I'm sure you'll find one persons feelings are hurt more than the rest over sharing. If you truly love someone why would you want them to feel that. It's hard for me to understand without knowing the arrangement. The more open your willing to be the more I'll understand.  And yes this is a post about you, the group was started by you and you’re the only couple willing to engage in conversation. If anyone else would join in that is in or considering a poly marriage I'd love to hear others thoughts.

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