Not a good idea to read this

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Permalink Reply by mikal haley on December 25, 2009 at 12:07pm

i basically made the same decision, back in the 1990s

BUT... i decided to do as much cool shit (whatever cool shit turns out to be) until then. i have a feeling NOBODY really knows what curves 2012 is gonna throw at us. but it will probably be noticably different.

'til then, just be extra sure that you aren't chasing that "special someone" away -- or not noticing them, unaware. that stuff happens, you ought to know...

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Permalink Reply by Fuujin Kurei on December 25, 2009 at 2:38pm

i agree with mikal, i had my special someone, and i was blind to it, and scared of that kind of commitment and i ran. it was the worse mistake i made, and it took me 3 years to realize it and fix it.

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Permalink Reply by jan & justin on December 25, 2009 at 5:30pm

i am so fortunate to be with my best friend still whom i married dec 27 1986/we don't always agree on things/he lives one day at a time/he's a musician/he doesn't save money/he starts hundreds of projects at a time that don't always even get finished......i look more into the future/i am a money saver/i'm very organized/i also can't carry a tune in a bucket/but we can talk about anything and sometimes watch a sunset and not say a word/he was a one night stand in a honky tonk/i'm aquarian & he's capricorn/the odds were against us/no one thought it would work/it may not last forever who the hell knows...i just know i am happy to be spending this day with him...happy 50th birthday Justin & happy 23'rd anniversary...i love you and i know how lucky i am :)

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Permalink Reply by mikal haley on December 28, 2009 at 11:28am

it's all relative dep't:

http://benjaminfulford.typepad.com/benjaminfulford/

Brave, intelligent Philippine Airport Security guards prevent possible hijacking


In a sign of the sheer idiocy and paranoia the US government has degenerated into, border agents at the US colony known as the Philippines confiscated a wooden salad bowl from me at the airport because “it was a potential weapon.” These clever and diligent border agents also managed to confiscate a jar of wild honey and a bottle of coconut vinegar. However, they let through a coconut pie which, if I was really a terrorist, I could have filled with plastic explosive. Such is the stupidity of this mindless war by the US on its own terror networks such as the Taleban and Al Ciada.


The Philippines is also a perfect example of why the International Monetary Fund needs to be disbanded. After decades of World Bank and IMF advice, the Philippines is now in worse shape than I have ever seen it. There were families with naked children sleeping on the streets during my last visit. During my decades of visiting that wonderful country I have never seen comparable misery. But of course, that is what the Zionist/Nazi gangsters want: a country full of

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Permalink Reply by Ronda Jane on December 29, 2009 at 10:12am

Dearest Jackson,
Ahh the sweet sorrow, I know it well, so well in fact I will lay it out here for all to see with no shame. I will do my best to keep it short, I was born to a mother who hated me before I was born, as she told me many times she wanted to jump out of the window at the hospital rather than give birth to me. I have an older brother whom she loved like the sun in the sky, as she told him quite frequently. My mother was bipolar, steeped in the occult, she suffered her whole life with this illness, I loved my mother, but mostly I feared her as she was emotionally and physically abusive, she told me how difficult I was as even an infant as she would bite my legs because I was to fiesty to put a diaper on. Later I found out from a cousin that I fought because I had painful raw diaper rash from being neglected. My mother blamed me for her illness and glared at me with hate and resentment. I had no father to protect me. My mother raised my brother to believe that I was less than and i was dubbed the maid, literally as they would laugh at me and taunt me. I was beat with the belt severvely on a regular basis and I could not understand why my mother did not love me. So I spent my life trying to do better, to be a good girl, and try harder to earn her love, it never came. I spend as much of my childhood as I could outside in the woods gathering all the beauty around me and I lived in a fantasy world to escape the pain. But i did not loose touch with reality, eventually I learned that the only way to survive was to keep love in my heart and to not be as they where...(my mother and my brother) Like you i searched for that one true love, my salvation. I gave more in my relationships and put up with more than anyone I have ever met. I always blamed myself believing that I was unloveable, believing that there was something wrong with me and that I was not ment for this world. Every relationship I had betrayed me, my best friends would sleep with my boyfriends. When I was carrying my first child I had gone to the city to take care of my mother, because I chose to love rather than hate, meanwhile the father of my unborn son broke into my apartment with one of my girlfriends and they slept with each other in my bed, on my stairwell, in my living room. Betrayal the likes of which blew my mind. I had dreams of revenge, I saw blood and knew if i saw this girl friend i might not be able to control my wrath, so I moved away to prevent this from happening, I choose the path of forgiveness. He cheated on me many more times and after five years of it and a son and a daughter later i left. I remember dropping to my knees and praying to god for love. I chose a man who was handsome, hard working, and well in my eyes was beautiful in every way , I was deeply maddly in love. It turned out after we where married that he had a multiple personality disorder, this chapter in my life is most difficult for me to talk about as I experienced more pain, loneliness, fear and dispare than i could have ever imagined. I lost my children, I was kept prisoner literally, I was raped, beaten, strangled... not allowed to go to the hospital and my neighbors who heard my screams did nothing. Luckily for me i had a such a rough childhood that i did not collapse but rose above, escaped, and got my children back. Now check this out, fool of fools that i am with a forgiving heart, ended up taking him back because he got help and was doing well. I concieved my third child and the abuse began again. I have lost three house holds full of stuff, all memorabilia, all my art work had been destroyed. I learned that none of that matters, stuff doesn't matter a hoot. I relocated to Vermont with my child in my belly and a back pack on my back. For ten years my life has been about healing myself and my children. I remained single without friends, extended family support, or a relationship for eight years. I firmly believed love was not in the cards for me. I have made a few attempts at love over the past few years but they ended quickly as I saw red flags, possesiveness or being played, lied to used. I learned that everyone is wounded, everyone has there story to tell and people are imperfect. I found out that I invite even on an unconscious level that i invite really messed up people into my life in hopes of love because I had seen myself as less than, in my mind I wanted to rescue these individuals, show them that life could be a beautiful place if only through the healing hand of love, I learned that you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. I still live a very reclusive life, but I give where ever I can, even if it is merely a smile to a passer by. I have accepted my lot in this life, and I have learned to not have any regrets for any of it because it has molded me into a beautiful human being with understanding and compassion. I learned that if you want love, you must first have it for yourself and it must be unconditional and forgiving. We have to be gentle with ourselves and those around us. Most importantly we cannot spend too much time on the pity pot because there is world of pain and suffering out there and if this world is to be healed we have to take personal responsibility and rather than look for the light we must be the light. I am going to be harsh here Baggins but only because sometimes it takes tough love, the drugs you are taking are poison and only a temporary solution to the symptoms not the problem. The music you are listening to only feeds your depression, turn it off. Stop listening to the negative messages of dispare and find your light. Know that you are a child of this universe and that the universe is unfolding as it should, take the lessons learned, transform that pain and darkness into light within yourself as wisdom for your journey, you are strong and beautiful because you are still here man. You are still here brother, even if you think you don't belong... know that you absolutely do because you are. I use my story as medicine to keep me strong and centered because I survived. I no longer search for love brother because I found out that I am love. It is in this truth that i have found peace and I continue to give and to forgive because i have seen the effects of hate in the heart first hand, it is the scourge of the soul and it eats up your power and your life. Empower life brother, love you, I love you and these are not just words on a page, my heart feels your pain and my love flows out into the universe to you. I will end here, I am also aware that i can show you the way but it is ultimately up to you to choose to drink the elixir of your own love. Just know we all need you and your love light, all my love RJ

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Permalink Reply by Jackson Baggins on December 29, 2009 at 10:47am

I only ask that a woman of no certain good looks but who is sweet and cuddly spend the rest of our lives trying to make each others life better. I can't continue living alone. Life alone is not worth living.
I will tell you what i tell every pretty woman... You will attract handsome men. Handsome men can screw anyone they want and they most often do. Mozart once wrote that the secret for a happy marriage was to marry someone uglier than you. A more truer statement was never uttered. Jane, marry me and I will suck that love out of you and grow it into a world of love and give it back.
Seriously this is all I want. a woman who is less than 200 lbs and is a nice person and can take care of her part in the relationship. I have 9,000 songs on my computer and most of them are uplifting, check out my social network, Beer-Drinkers-and -hellraisers.ning.com. See the type of music I have on it or look on this site or Hippie Gatherings and see the type of videos I uploaded. i am a very positive,person, have made miles of progress towards propper coping mthods and self improvement. I give 15 per cent of my disability checkto Child Fund, St. Judes and Make a smile. I gave my home to the homeless, and still people find me unlovable. I have to take the drugs I am ( they come from the VA) to keep from taking my life or someone elses. When i get money at the end of the month for my weed I'll be ok for another month and give up the VA drugs,
Anyway I have some good goals for 2010 and if this doesn't work I'm moving to Eugene live in my truck and chain smoke weed ntil I die.

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Permalink Reply by Ronda Jane on December 29, 2009 at 10:47am

Dearest Jaskson, I want you to know that sharing my story is not easy for me to do, as it conjures up for me a lot of painful experiences givng me PTSD symptoms, shaking etc. But i did this for you because I care so much, because I understand. I also realized that I have painted a picture of a saint, i am no saint, i have made many, many bad choices and many mistakes. I have wallowed in sorrow and depression more times than I care to recount. The point is i have made it to the other side, I have found that pot of gold at the end of the Rainbow and I am still alone. We all are alone within ourselves looking out, everyone talks about evolution, that we must evolve. I think it is the opposite, I think we need involution, all that we need, all the answers, all the love lives inside of us. I will leave you with this thought my brother as I can get pretty long winded. Love you, RJ

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Permalink Reply by mikal haley on December 29, 2009 at 10:59am

YEAH

YOU GOTTA LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. IT'S LIKE A "RULE"

IF YOU DON'T REALLY LOVE YOURSELF
I GUARANTEE YOU WILL CHASE LOVE AWAY. IT HAPPENS EACH DAY.


but if you lighten up on yourself in a serious way
and look within and search you might even find that one special someone who is 201 lbs

but you find out you like her anyway and that petty shit wasn't as important

as you thought...
before...

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Permalink Reply by Jackson Baggins on December 29, 2009 at 1:17pm

I want her to be under 200 lbs so I can get my penis in her if we have sex.

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Permalink Reply by Jackson Baggins on December 29, 2009 at 1:23pm

I'd settle for a lady who likes me or can stand to sit on the sofa with me while we grow obese together and develop cancer from the UV rays or the carcinogens from the weed we smoke. Thanks for your concern. I daid in my discussion I would be inundated with look to your self for love,. Alone is against nature. 90 per cent of nature either lives in close proximity to other's of their species or mate for life.

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Permalink Reply by Jackson Baggins on December 29, 2009 at 4:39pm

I feel your pain Bro. You must be hurting badly to attack me like that.
Maybe you were upset at the way I said I want a woman under 200 lbs so I could have intercourse with her. it was partly a joke but This was an actual problem that came up last summer, we couldn't get her legs spread a part for sex. So I'd hope to meet someone I'm sexually compatable with. Also that statement wasn't directed at Jane. Jane and me could never be lovers she is one of those women who are doomed to repeat the same choices over and over, going for good looking men who will do her wrong. I'm homely and to old for her to ever fancy me. lol!Something you may not understand is I am going through an intense period of depression and it takes all my strength at this time not to do harm to myself or another. Normally I'm ok if I smoke weed and take my blood pressure meds. However this month I was ripped off of about $300 and couldn't afford my weed. I'll be ok by New YEar's Eve and if you were on my friend's list you would have gotten a wonderful letter to that effect in the last half hour. so here my friend is yiur letter. Also in place of the weed I have to take some harsh meds that mess me up, but after getting so many letters of support I have managed to fix my head enough to get through the next day or two. If I were back in Mountain home I would know people who would have helped me out but i just moved up to monett and have no friends here so I had to white knockle it. But God is merciful and I've made it.
It's time to celebrate surviving another year and the promise and hope of finding Love, Joy and Peace in the next one so I say to one and all have a very Hippie New Year, hold on to your loved one's and to your dreams, the world will do all it can to rip them from your heart.
God Bless You All and
PLEASE LIVE THROUGHT THIS HOLIDAY,
I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND
HOPE TO SEE YOU ON EARTH SOMETIME,
Love,
Baggins
I've been waitin' my time, just to talk to you
You been lookin' all down at the mouth, and down at your shoes
Well bay - ee - aby, I come to give you the news
I'll paint rainbows all over your blues

I heard you been spendin' a lot of your time, up in your room
And at ight you've been watchin' the dark side of the moon
You don't talk to nobody, if they don't talk to you
So Buddy and me came here to sing you a tune

I give up, is all you've really got to say
Well, it's time to find a new life style
'cause this really ain't the way

Let's go for a bounce on my trampoline
I can show you the prettiest mountains that you've ever seen
You better run to your closet
And fish out your blue suede shoes
'Cause I'll paint rainbows all over your blues

So I hope you are ok SDaddy. If not let me know how I can help, Happy Hippie New Year and I love you man, BAGGINS!

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Permalink Reply by Jackson Baggins on December 30, 2009 at 11:24am

You are aptly named

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